It's humans..

.. and random acts of kindness.

I discovered my EF50mm lens the other day and after charging the old camera again, placed it on and took a few shots. I've almost forgotten what it was like.

The EF50mm must be one of those rare lenses that are both cheap and good, and therefore among the most popular. Yes, the relatively small sensor makes a 80mm out of it, but it's light, fast and with f/1.8..*gasp* a little gem. It requires some care for one should mind the perils of a shallow field of depth. Mine was the single piece from the II-series that Leistenschneider had in a different store and I remember how they brought it to their local store, only because I wanted it so much...

But, there's another aspect of a prime lens like this that one doesn't notice at first. Or, at least, I haven't. While a non-prime allows you to a great extend to stand where you are and frame without moving, a prime requires you to walk. It shows you it's limits and tells you "Here, my friend, if you want the right frame you have to walk the walk. You have to get close and not be afraid or lazy."

I guess I'll keep it for the time, not in the box but on the camera. I need some walking to do.

P.S. That above is a portrait of my mother taken with the 50mm some time ago.

“All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost.” —J. R. R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

"Psychologists use the term illusion of control to describe what happens when we place ourselves in the role of agent in a situation that truly lacks one. We tend to assume the role when something tragic happens to us or someone we love, and we think “If only I had…then this wouldn't have happened.” In most cases, the control we think we could have exerted to prevent the tragedy is illusory. But the need to explain the Why of the tragedy, and a craving for agency will make it very hard for anyone to convince us that we are not in some way responsible for what happened."

- "What Makes Your Brain Happy and Why You Should Do the Opposite"

"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain. And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields. And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief. Much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity: For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen, And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears."
K. Gibran

Такива разни

Господа,

Един живот живея като луд сън. От онези, от които се радваш че си се събудил и че е нормален, скучен ден. Само дето аз не се будя.

Чувствам се като чужд човек в собствената си кожа. Нито се познавам нито си спомням как беше преди години. В главата ми е Пътникът на Иги Поп, в сърцето ми Сахара, и цял ден безвремие. Добре, че спя нощем че да изключа тиквеника, че иначе..Кофти като регламентират мозъчно-модифициращите лекарства а не обичам да пия.

Това е април, който не си представях. А какъв май ни чака, дори не смея да си помисля.

П.С. Ако не сте чели "Сговор на глупци" няма дори да ви е смешно, но повярвайте ми, скучното е пак доста добро състояние.

Супа

Един от привичните ми изрази, често пряко преведен на немски и поради това вече ползван и от немско-говорящите около мен, е "супа". Супа е когато нещата се объркат много. Просто е -- няма какво да обяснявам.

Та тези дни като чета български блогове пък и това, което се води за официални медии, единственото което виждам е супа. Емоционална супа.

Обърканата болка на пишещите. Всеки втори реди "защото, защото, защото... заради, заради..".. сякаш повторението е камшик, с който бият по битието, защото не знаят какво друго може да се направи.

И аз не знам. Дори не съм и наполовината на това емоционална. Може би защото все още добре помня онзи многоброен митинг преди една сурия години, когато времето ужким беше наше.

Сега не е като тогава. Тогава поне имаше надежда, че на някого може да се вярва -- ходи сега вдъхновявай пребитите надежди. Но пък и виновни няма. Ако имахме поне 200 години демократични традиции, може би нямаше да оставим нещата да стигнат до тук.

А може би и щяхме. Знам ли. В историята ни има много примери на малодушие, но не помня да съм чела за времена, в които толкова народ си е теглил я клечката, я куршума.

Та, не знам каква манджа ще излезе от тази супа.

"I am a feather for each wind that blows and the wind's blowing me this way now. But yet I still retain this marvellous feeling of freedom," he said.

"The things that used to bring me down, or worry me, or annoy me, they don't matter anymore - and that's when you sit thinking 'Wow, why didn't I work this out before? Why didn't I work out before that it's just the moment you're in that matters?'

"Worrying about the future or regretting the past is just a foolish waste of time. Of course we can't all be threatened with imminent death, but it probably takes that to knock a bit of sense into our heads."

- Wilko Johnson about how he feels after learning he has terminal cancer

"Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods."
 — Socrates, (469 BC - 399 BC)